Good ... better ... best!

Good
Garda traffic police had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but were not catching many. Eventually, they discovered the problem – a 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign which read ‘SPEED TRAP AHEAD’. The Garda also found his accomplice down the road with a sign reading ‘TIPS’ and a bucket full of money.

Better
A motorist was mailed a photo of his car speeding through an automatic speed trap, along with an 80 euro fine. Being cute, he sent the gardai a photo of 80 euros. The gardai responded with a mailed photo of handcuffs.

Best
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As, the Traffic Corps Garda walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said ‘I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Garda Traffic Department Ball.” He replied “The Garda Traffic Department don’t have balls…” There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back into his patrol car and left.

I ache - therefore I am ...

...or I am therefore I ache (Marvin, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Well I made it back. First visit to the gym today. and boy!, did it take it out of me! I only managed one set, and half my rowing, and that was enough. In fact, as I staggered off to the shower, it felt like it was more than enough!

And why the lay-off, I hear you cry? (I have very good hearing you know!) Well the good old Manx winter laid me quite low, with a cold the likes of which I have not had for many years. No it was not man-flu. but a good old fashioned cold. It coincided with one of the coldest spells of weather here for many years, so all I was fit to do was huddle in layer upon layer of clothes. I must have looked like the Michelin Man!

But the days are getting longer, the weather is warmer (for now anyway!) and I feel better. I hope this goes on for a bit!

Quaaltagh

First footing - the custom of bringing good wishes and good luck into the home.

A traditional blessing was

Nollick Ghennal erriu as blein feer vie

Seihll as slaynt da'n slane lught thie
Bea as gennallys eu bio ry cheilley

Shee as graih eddyr mraane as deiney

Cooid as cowryn, stock as stoyr

Palchey puddase as skedden dy liooar

(A merry Christmas and a good new year

Luck and health to your whole household

Life pleasantness and sprightliness to you together

Peace and love between men and women

Goods and riches, stock and store

Plenty of spuds and herring enough)

I can't put it better than that, except to wish you

Shee as boggey erriu car ny Heeaney sho cheet

(peace and joy to you throughout the coming year)

Nollick ghennal!

Bannaghtyn y nollick - Manx season's greetings to you all.

A good Oie'll Voirrey (Christmas Eve - literally "Mary's night") last night. and her mother came up. I was worried as they were running late (daughter in the bath and was waiting for her mum to tell her to get out; mum asleep on the sofa after dealing with the cat!). But the meat was cooking, and when they got here we had dinner (fresh pineapple to start, gammon with potatoes, cauliflower cheese and yorkshire pudding, then spiced peaces and cream to finish).

The really nice thing was that we could spend time together. In the past, they have headed off to her grandmother's down south. This time, they could stay, and talk over a glass of wine (well alcopop in my daughter's case) and catch up. It was the closest thing to a family Christmas for years!

Anyway - work calls. So I wish you shee as boggey erriu (peace and joy to you).

Nollick ghennal!

T'was the week before Christmas...

...and all through the house -
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.

Though if I did find a mouse, I am not sure what Pepsi would do with it. I know what Hamish would have done though - he would have watched it run around. I know that because I did find one, and he had no idea what to do about it! When it comes to cats, though, she knows exactly what to do! A strange white cat was passing through the back garden on its own business. Pepsi saw it, and was straight out of the window and chased it off under next door's decking.

Ahh Christmas. 'Tis the season to be merry (though for many people, merry becomes blotto). 'Tis also the season to be greedy, aggressive, angry, mean and bad-tempered. I am opting out of most of the Christmas Day festivities by working (when was I ever conventional?). Christmas dinner will be served on Christmas Eve, with the traditional ham (don't like turkey that much) with potatoes and cauliflower cheese.

I will be glad when it is over. My local bakerery is closed from Christmas Eve until onday 29th, so I have to think ahead and freeze some bread. With being on day shift next week, I will be limited as to when I can shop, and I will have to plan ahead. And then get in enough to get me through until at least the Saturday.

And now I am off to help a friend with her cat. I need to hold her so that she can be de-fleaed. That will get me riught off the cat's Christmas card list...

A Christmas prayer

When I am weighted down with tiredness,
when I am bound down with the knots of things I haven't done,
people I haven't seen,
cards I haven't written,
prayers I haven't said;
when the demands of Christmas silence its music,
come to me and free me;
come to me and quieten me;
come to me and love me as I am.
Come to me.
Amen.

Lynne Chitty

Just a thought

"Railways and the church have their critics, but both are the best ways of getting a man to his ultimate destination"

Revd. W. Awdry